


Time Off

by Jingle



Category: Phineas and Ferb, Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars
Genre: Cake, Friendship, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 11:30:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2620196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jingle/pseuds/Jingle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darthenshmirtz decides his nemesis is over-worked, and kidnaps him to force him to take time off.</p>
<p>It's totally an evil plan, really.</p>
<p>(Inspired by a prompt from author heavenbows.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Off

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heavenbows](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenbows/gifts).



“You know, Norm3PO, it’s a little troubling, isn’t it?”

“What would that be, Sir?”

The two were stranded on Tatooine after Perry the Rebelpus had left them there. To be fair, this was after he rescued them from drifting eternally through space in the escape pod.

“Perry the Rebelpus, he- He’s always so _busy.”_

“Sir, I don’t think he’d be so busy if you built less Inators!” Norm3PO piped up, trying to be helpful.

“Aw, hush, Norm3PO. I mean, it’s not like I feel _bad_ for him, I just… Uh, I just… You know what? I’m going to kidnap him. For _evil_!”

* * *

 

Getting a pilot to take them to find Perry proved to be a roadblock. Darthenshmirtz’s midi-chlorian levels were far too low for him to successfully use a Jedi Mind Trick on anyone. Mos Eisley wasn’t the kind of place where people were exactly _generous_ , either, and even if they had been, nobody wanted to go on a wild bantha chase for some platypus of unknown whereabouts.

But then Darthenshmirtz had an idea; he could bring Perry the Rebelpus to _him_.

“Behold!” Darthenshmirtz declared, gesturing to the odd structure made of salvaged pod racer parts and about half of Norm3PO’s inner workings. (He wasn’t looking too good, but Darthenshmirtz was _fairly_ certain he could put it all back properly again.) “My new Inator!”

“What it supposed is do to, Sir?” Norm3PO asked in a lagging drawl. Darthenshmirtz slapped his un-helmted forehead. (Hey, they were stuck on Tatooine; it was _hot_.)

“It doesn’t _do_ anything, Norm!” he hissed. “Don’t you remember? This is the decoy to draw Perry the Rebelpus here.”

“Do what remember I?”

“Huh, maybe this was a bad idea. Oh, well! Any second now…”

There was a crash, and the door to the house they were squatting in went flying inwards. Perry stood where it had been.

“Hey! That’s not- That’s not even _mine_! And I bet now _I’m_ going to have to pay for it.” Darthenshmirtz complained. Perry narrowed his eyes, looking at the “Inator”, and took a flying leap towards it. When he landed, however, he just… Stared.

“Knows think he I, Sir.”

Darthenshmirtz sighed with agitation. “Just… Just _one second_ , Perry the Rebelpus. Norm3PO, I’m shutting you down. You’re giving me more of a headache than usual,” he muttered, as a fading groan indicated the Droid had been powered down. “Okay, that’s, uh, that’s all taken care of.”

Perry gave Darthenshmirtz a look that said ‘What gives?’.

“Okay, okay, you got me, Perry the Rebelpus. This was a decoy! And Major Hologram fell for it! Now you’re right where I want you!” With that, Darthenshmirtz lunged at Perry, grabbing for the holo communicator on his wrist. Perry fought back, and a battle ensued in which Darthenshmirtz got kicked in the face several times. However, for once luck was on his side, and in the end he got the communicator from Perry and smashed it against the floor. Perry glared.

“Don’t look at me that way, Perry the Rebelpus! I’m giving you some time off.” Perry’s glare melted into an unamused expression. “Don’t look at me like _that_ , either, it’s an _evil plan_! Once you get a taste of time off, you’ll _never_ want to go back to thwarting me! See? Evil. Totally evil.”

Perry looked away, still not impressed. It was a pretty weak plan, even for Darthenshmirtz. What Perry _didn’t_ know was that it wasn’t truly a plan; more of something he’d come up with on the fly. It was embarrassing, but Darthenshmirtz actually _did_ feel bad for how hard his nemesis always had to work. Not bad enough to stop making Inators and schemes, of course, but bad enough to hold him captive and force him to relax.

But Perry was heading for the empty doorway.

“Oh, come on, Perry the Rebelpus. Just a _little_ time off? Give my plan a chance!” Perry tilted his head back in exasperation, but turned around and walked over to Darthenshmirtz. “Oh, great! Okay, let’s see… What can we do to give you the full ‘time off’ experience? Ooh, oh, I know! Let’s go down to Mois Eisley and watch some fights break out! Why are you looking at me like that? …Oh, huh, yeah. I guess with all the Storm Troopers still stationed there, showing your Rebel face might not be the best idea. We could put Norm3PO back together! No? Well okay, mister critical, what do _you_ want to do.”

Perry looked thoughtful for a moment, then wandered into the kitchen and, shortly after, let out a ‘krrkrrkrr!’. When Darthenshmirtz went to follow him, Perry was holding a cookbook open to a chapter on cakes.

“You want to bake? Seriously?” Perry glared and slammed the cookbook shut. “No, no, it sounds fun! Just… Not very _you_.” Perry smirked that irritating, ‘aren’t I mysterious?’ smirk of his, but Darthenshmirtz let it go, this once.

Soon the two were hard at work, Darthenshmirtz carefully mixing flour and sugar so as little came out of the bowl as possible. Perry was cracking eggs, something Darthenshmirtz had wanted to try, but Perry had refused to let him do. As Darthenshmirtz added water to the mix, and Perry folded in the eggs with a certain expertise and flair, the two found themselves smiling. They laughed as they bumped elbows, and felt like old friends, which, in a way, they were. They’d known each other for ages now, and just because they were nemeses didn’t mean they hadn’t grown fond of each other.

It took quite a while for the cake to bake, and the dismantled the fake Inator while they waited for it to finish.

“I didn’t know you could bake,” Darthenshmirtz noted as he tried to untangle some of Norm3PO’s wires. Perry shrugged. “It’s kind of cool. Learning new stuff about you.”

Perry flashed him a grin.

“Okay, enough mush. I’m hungry!” Darthenshmirtz exclaimed. “Come on, Perry the Rebelpus, let’s see if that cake is ready.”

It was, and the two each enjoyed a slice. (Perry helped himself to seconds.) Just when things were feeling the most right, though, there was a beeping from the floor.

“…Guess I didn’t break it, huh? Really gotta work on that upper body strength.” Perry gave him a sheepish look. “Oh, you go get your mission. But, uh, this was nice! We should do it again sometime, don’t you think?”

Perry hesitated, then nodded with a small smile. He ran over to his holo communicator and rushed outside before answering it. That may have been a good time they’d had, but he still couldn’t trust Darthenshmirtz with rebel secrets.

Darthenshmirtz smiled at the spot where Perry had last been visible for a few moments, then sighed contentedly.

He supposed he should probably start putting that junk pile Norm3PO back together, so he sat down by what remained of the decoy Inator, gathering up the parts that belonged to the Droid. 

“Yeah. That was nice.”

**Author's Note:**

> Perry baking a cake in PnF: Star Wars was just about the cutest thing.


End file.
